The Return of Mail Call
}} The Order answers more fan mail. Cast * Haley Starshine (also as a Ninja and a Pirate) ◀ ▶ * Elan ◀ ▶ * Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶ * Thog ◀ ▶ * d20 * d12 * d6 * d4 * A Random Person * Ninja Haley's wealthy Victim * Three Stereotypical Pirates Transcript Haley: Well, this seems like a good spot to stop and answer some more reader mail! Belkar: Because it was so popular the first time. Elan: It was? Belkar: No. No it was not. Haley: So here's our first question, from Dave in Kansas City, Missouri: The letter reads: Who uses a twelve-'' ''sided die? I don't think I've ever rolled a d12 in my life! Elan: The poor d12, so maligned, so misunderstood. Elan: Shunned by its more popular d6 and d20 bretheren[sic], even the d4 secretly laughs at the poor twelve-sider. Elan: The d3 gets more play, and it doesn't even exist! d4: Loser! Cut to a scene of Thog swinging a greataxe at a helpless Commoner. Elan (inset): But the d12 does have one refuge: the barbarian! Whether for hit points or for greataxe damage, the d12 and the barbarian are best buddies. Thog: thog power attack for 1d12+567 damage! grrr! d12: Yeah! Kick his ass! Random Person: I sure hope he rolls a one for damage. Cut back to Haley and Belkar. Haley: So yes, Dave, someone does use a d12, and you're better off not making them angry. Belkar: Luckily, none of them can read this comic, so allow me to just say: Belkar: BARBARIANS SUCK! Elan: Next letter, from Amber in Canada: The letter reads: I love Haley! She's a rogue, but would you say she is more of a ninja-rogue, or more of a pirate-rogue? Haley: Ahhhhhhh, Ninja vs. Pirate, the age-old debate. Belkar: And by "age old" she means, "showed up on the Internet like two years ago, at most." Haley: But which lifestyle is more to my liking... Haley: Ninja... Cut to Haley dressed as a Ninja threatening an Asian man in Japanese attire. Ninja Victim: Please! I will give you my unusually vast and particularly glittery fortune! Just spare my life. Haley (as a ninja): Honor demands that I must refuse. Prepare to die. Cut back to Haley. Haley: ...or Pirate? Pirate #1: More wine, Pirate Queen? Pirate #2: More treasure, Pirate Queen? Pirate #3: Another sensual massage, Pirate Queen? Haley: Pirate. Haley: Definitely Pirate. Elan: Nice Choice. Belkar: I wouldn't know, I can't even Spot the ninja panel. D&D Context * A "3-sided dice" is usually rolled by rolling a 6-sided dice and dividing the result by 2 and rounding up, although actual d3's do exist. * Belkar says that Barbarians can't read the comic because Barbarians start the game not knowing how to read. Trivia * This is the second "fan-mail" filler comic; the first is #33, Mail Call, and the third is #259, Son of Mail Call. * Recurring gag: In #3, See Spot Spot, he couldn't spot a band ninjas who were standing right next to him. * The 3rd unnamed pirate is used as an Order of the Stick avatar on the Forum. * Despite Belkar's comment, he later multiclasses into the Barbarian base class in #132. External Links * 121}} View the comic * link|928117}} View the discussion thread Category:Non sequitur comics